looking back & living forward
An Elevation Worship song goes, “When I look back over my life and I think how good You have been… My soul sings, ‘great is, great is Your faithfulness!’” This song has been ringing in my spirit all day.
The days in between Christmas and New Year often gets me in a sentimental mood, reminiscing about the past year and how I’d always write essays during this “in-between.” This has always felt like the right time to let a stream of memories—the highs and lows, the meh’s and woah’s, ebbs and flows—cascade and remind of me God’s faithfulness.
This holiday season felt a little bit different in both good and sad ways. Our holiday traditions had to adjust to the fragmented state of relationships within our family. Through the years, I’ve experienced both joy and grief on Christmas eve. I’ve looked back on past get-togethers with a hint of yearning for what was… while still learning to embrace what’s in front of me and who’s in front of me.
This 2025 was a mix of battles lost and won, and prayers answered. My emotions consumed me at one point, but God is faithful to send people who will fight and pray through the mess with me. I wrapped up projects and contracts with clients, I welcomed new friendships, and I am savoring a new relationship with a man I prayed for. The Lord gives, the Lord takes away; blessed be His name indeed!
Through it all, He is worthy of my praise. He sustained me through overlapping deadlines, and the overwhelm of physical and mental exhaustion. I wandered off of the path He has laid out before me yet He kept on pursuing me.
Hindsight is a gift. Sometimes looking back with a lens of gratitude instead of regret, helps us live life forward.
And if ever we do have regrets, we can trust that He can work everything out for our good, and for His purpose and for His glory. That’s just the kind of God He is. The question is are we willing to surrender and obey when He leads us into the unknown, to still trust Him despite what happened, and to continue to believe He is good and worthy of our praise?
We are changing calendars but we have the same God. The same God who willingly sent His own Son to die for our sins so we don’t have to face eternal damnation. The same God who created the heavens and the earth yet pays careful attention to us. The same God who heals the sick, redeems the past, and rescues the lost. The same God who comforts the heartbroken, and lifts up the downcast.
A new year is upon us, new pages to fill and to turn. Is our life yielded to His hand?
